True to Yourself

Whitney Houston - I will always love you

In light of the holiday, I've recently had several conversations with people about identity.  Not race/ethnicity, class, citizenship, or roles and occupations.  Discussions of finding yourself and who you are, who you're becoming, and what makes each person unique.  Some ideas/thoughts that were passed around are things I want to keep in mind as I turn the page and start a new chapter in my life.

When meeting new people with the intention of forming relationships (acquaintances, friends, partners, business associates, co-workers, etc etc), give them a first-hand glimpse at your real personality.  People don't keep up with being fake, and it's hard to keep it up.  First impressions are, of course, important, but if you're really positive when you're meeting people and after a couple of weeks you become a pessimistic Pete, you're both wasting each other's time.

It isn't always true that change will reflect in a failed relationship between two people.  An example of a co-worker's story reflects that although she tried hard to impress him, she integrated her own style and flare into everything she did.  Now they are happily married and she doesn't feel like she's obligated to (and almost never does) put on makeup, buy trendy clothes, or constantly please him if she doesn't feel like it.  He fell in love with her and the happy couple are still in love to this day, despite the change.

Now, unfortunately, not all relationships are like this.  Some people don't always accept people for who they are at the moment and wish for a certain personality/trait/character that made that impression on them.  This, my friends, should not blind you from who a person truly is.  Although they display those characteristics, dig deeper under the surface to find that mixture of "goods" and "bads" to see if this person is, indeed, someone you want involved in your life.

Discussion about what makes a good friend was also brought up and one of the most important ideas, in my opinion, is to find friends/partners who reflect the best in you.  People who bring out the best in you are those people you want to keep in your life because without even thinking or trying, you are that much better in just each other's presence.  Less effort and concentration while getting the best/most out of the relationship.

The flip side is many of us fail to place ourselves in situations where we meet a variety of people to find those certain type of people who can do that for us.  Many people have never met anyone like this, and others meet these people and fail to realize the importance of that person's role in their life to keep them close.

Search for someone like that, then you know that even though you're comfortable doing what you usually do, they don't feel like it's settling down, baseline, etc.

And finally, a good relationship balances each other out.  One person's strengths is another person's weakness and they compliment each other by forming a pair in the relationship.  This is on the lines of opposites attract, but at a different angle (no, just because you like outdoor activities and he hates any type of physical activity means it's a good match; you participate in outdoor activities increases the physical activity/hobbies that he hasn't been able to explore).

With those points made, I wish the best for those seeing, exploring, and continuing to practice good and healthy relationships with those close people that will be in your life (hopefully) forever.