You know something is seriously wrong when you take a sick day not because you're physically ill. When I'm mentally unable to cheer on my patients as a healthcare professional, I call in sick. This has only ever happened to me once... and it happened this weekend.
I wanted to make up for missing Friday by coming in over the weekend, but there was no way my emotions would be hidden from everyone. It only takes one person to ask "Are you okay?" for me to break down in tears. Today (Sunday), I almost made it through the whole day without crying.It makes me so upset the person I trusted and loved immensely has hurt me. It's like a betrayal from your best friend. It's not that they're intentionally hurting you, it's that they know their decision will hurt you and they've protected themselves by convincing them it's better for both of you.
This weekend has been made possible by long walks, chores, and distractions. Thank you to friends who I now have future plans with, Lulu for loaning a shoulder for me to cry on, Cait aka confidant, high school buddies that are always full of laughs and cheer, family to spend Easter with, and this blog to keep my thoughts in check. No thanks to my phone reminding me to Snapchat/send love notes (I'm being careful to only take pictures and to contact friends), my ipod for playing certain songs, Easter Pusheen, runny mascara and long-burning candles.
Here's to the beginning of a new week. May the forces be with me.
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