Day 1: SLC -> Albuquerque
The first day of driving was setback by my lack of insight when planning a farewell 90's party the night before. It turned out to keep me up until 3:00 a.m. leaving me with very little sleep before a big day of driving. Woke up early, spent time with the family, spent time with Volodya and went to pick up Esther. It was 100% my fault I was late and failed to mention it to her. She had every right to be mad at me and wanted to give me a piece- I complain about how my time is so valuable but when it comes to other people's time I'm inconsiderate. I agree to an extent and have got to change some ways. 
We headed out and I was out to make it to New Mexico on time! Little did I realize I was speeding through a town (Price) and I get pulled over. "Ma'am, you were going 70 in a 40 zone. The sign was half a mile back." Well, half a mile is less than 30 seconds ago if you're going 70! The officer let me off with a warning and ticketed me for not having a front plate. The difference is $500 vs. $50. As I drove the first shift, about 3.5 hrs before asking to switch. In my mind I thought short quick shifts would be easier to handle... she breezed past through 7 hours of driving! We stopped at the 4 corners for a memorable photo being in all 4 states at once. :) Upon entering Albuquerque, we checked into an old hotel (with good ratings), each had our own queen sized bed, showered and passed out to recharge for another day of driving.
Day 2: Albuquerque -> Austin
As we checked into our AirBnB loft, it was this cute purple building in the tenant's backyard. The inside was so cute- I think I'm going to do something like that for guests or children someday. We dropped off our stuff and headed to Esther's friend's place nearby where they were rehearsing for a play. All the performers were members of the fatty QPOC community. They were all super nice and very friendly. The play was beautiful- things I never thought were framed by societal values of body image really stuck out to me. I remember having a body image crisis when I got back to SLC this past year and learned to accept and be satisfied with my body where I feel most comfortable. I believe everyone has a homeostasis and sometimes when we under/over nutrient ourselves we don't feel at our optimal selves. I measure my optimal homeostasis by how comfortable I feel in my own skin. Sometimes I need quantitative feedback, like how tight my pants are, but most of the time it's qualitative, subjective, happiness/satisfaction.After the play rehearsal we went out for late dinner... Esther and I were starving! They took us out to a favorite diner called Star Seeds Cafe and I had a delicious portabello pesto sandwich... yummers! We also ordered queso and we were hooked. Esther and I had to have queso on this trip! After dinner we grabbed some donuts and Mrs. Jackson's. The guy peer pressured me into buying them all! hahaha No really, it was okay. The total was $4 (including tip) and I was happy to provide some pleasure and enjoyment to new friends.
Funny thing about today was I felt accepted by these strangers/new friends but not accepted by Esther. It was a weird feeling, like I was being alienated and segregated because of my body type and my straight preference. I washed it off with a cold shower and went to bed first.
Day 3: Austin -> Houston
Today I woke up again for the 3rd night in a row with less than adequate sleep. Honestly it had nothing to do with Esther, so I'm not sure why. We checked out of the loft and headed to "Kerbey Lane on Guadalupe." The food looked amazing- I was more than disappointed with my meal, as I had ordered a tomato pie which was mostly roasted tomatoes in a quiche. I wanted to get the eggs benedict with queso, but Esther and Morgan ordered it so I decided to go with something different.
At this table (with Caleb there) they discussed a lot of Austin queer community drama. I tried to follow even though I couldn't relate, so I kept quiet most of the time. I said maybe one or two things and was attacked. "This isn't about your comfort" and "What do you mean walk it off?! I meant walk to the car" were some of the hurtful things said. So I don't have the proper jargon for these critical thinkers. So I'm not oppressed the way they are. Then don't say statements that ask me to respond about talking gossip about this community when she (me) has nothing to do with it (and I respond: "It's okay, I'm comfortable with it") or say that you're so full you need to go outside (what else does that mean besides movement?). I knew I was the minority, but it's not right for people who fight for equality to put someone who they've just met like that. And you know what? Esther spearheaded the whole attack. I felt ashamed to be who I was, as she had felt in a previous conversation we had. Shame on me for being thin. Shame on me for being straight.
As much as I wanted to confront her, I didn't know how to express my feelings, so I just pressed forward since we have 3 more days together. Blue Bell Creameries tour was interesting, the ice cream was rich. I got pistachio almond and Esther got maltball mocha flavor. We left towards Houston with my ear buds carrying my drive (as Esther took a quick nap) and entered Houston to flash flooding. Yipee.
There's the long story of my road trip to Houston. It was tiring, my stomach is stretched out and I now understand a little more about how Esther feels about me- it makes me wonder why she wants to be my friend. :\
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