In Memory: Tommy Laliemthavixay

“Grief can destroy you --or focus you. You can decide a relationship was all for nothing if it had to end in death, and you alone. OR you can realize that every moment of it had more meaning than you dared to recognize at the time, so much meaning it scared you, so you just lived, just took for granted the love and laughter of each day, and didn't allow yourself to consider the sacredness of it. But when it's over and you're alone, you begin to see that it wasn't just a movie and a dinner together, not just watching sunsets together, not just scrubbing a floor or washing dishes together or worrying over a high electric bill. It was everything, it was the why of life, every event and precious moment of it. The answer to the mystery of existence is the love you shared sometimes so imperfectly, and when the loss wakes you to the deeper beauty of it, to the sanctity of it, you can't get off your knees for a long time, you're driven to your knees not by the weight of the loss but by gratitude for what preceded the loss. And the ache is always there, but one day not the emptiness, because to nurture the emptiness, to take solace in it, is to disrespect the gift of life.” 
― Dean Koontz, Odd Hours

 On June 9, 2013, the loved individual Tommy Laliemthavixay passed away.  It was in the waters of Pineview Reservoir at 3:00 p.m. mountain time did he breathe his last breath before being taken.

Posted today on KSL News:  http://www.ksl.com/?sid=25530818&nid=148

WEBER COUNTY — A man drowned in Pineview Reservoir Sunday while swimming with some friends.

Marine Patrole deputies were called to the scene of the drowning, near Cemetery Point, at about 3 p.m., according Cpl. Mark Horton with Weber County Sheriff's Office.

The 26-year-old man had been swimming with friends out to a buoy, Horton said, but began struggling in the water along the way. A friend turned back to help the man, but was unable to do so.

One of his companions, as well as other witnesses, saw the man go under, Horton said.

Search and rescue dive teams were called in to search the area, but were hindered by steep terrain and low visibility. His body was recovered at about 9:30 p.m. Sunday.

Acquaintance Carlos Bejar, who was on shore, saw the man drown, and asked someone to call 911.

"I don't know what happened, and then I didn't see him anymore," he said.

The investigation was just getting under way Sunday evening, but Horton said the incident initially looked like an accident. He did not yet know whether drugs or alcohol were involved, but said it was possible hot weather played a part.

The man's name has not yet been released. Horton said he was from outside the country.

More information will be posted when it becomes available.

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Erin calls me at 7:12 Hawaii time twice, leaving a message and a couple of texts from her and her husband.  I call her after listening to her voicemail:

E: "Hey, how are you?"

M: "Aloha!  I'm doing fantastic, how are you?"

E: "I'm sorry to be the one to tell you this, I don't even know how to say this... but Tommy drowned today."

In shock, I automatically went into denial.  Then proceeded to ask how it happened.  He was boating with some friends and they all dove into the water to swim around.  When it was time to go back to the boat, he was yelling for help and friends jumped in to save him but it all happened so fast... and then he was gone.

First thing I did was call my mother.  I cried and cried while explaining what was going on.  But recovered quickly.  Then I called his mom and we cried together, but I recovered again.  Then I called Catherine and this time it was a short and brief cry.  

Being asked to investigate who he was with to recover belongings for the family, I began to contact other friends from his work who he went out on the boat ride with.  I have yet to make contact with any of them.

At 9:30 Hawaii time, I called Rich, Tommy's best friend, and we grieved together.  We made a pact to remain friends in contact in memory of Tommy, for he still lives within our hearts.  We had an amazing conversation reminiscing on happy memories of the past- it's definitely helping me cope with the grievance and bereavement process.

Going to book my flight back home tomorrow; hopefully I can get work and the flight squared away ASAP.  I have such a heavy heart for his parents and family... I hope they're doing alright.

Tommy, thank you for everything.  Thank you for being my best friend, my lover, my boyfriend and my companion.  You were once someone I loved and I still have strong feelings about you that will live on deep in my heart.  Rich and I both know you are in a good place and that you left us as a happy, loved individual.  You were loved by so many and may you live on in our hearts forever.

May you rest in piece.