If It Doesn't Kill You...

Do you ever feel like you have those really challenging days where you're up against the world, nothing is going right for you, and yet, you feel like you can make it through and everything will be alright when it's over?  It reminds me of the saying "if it doesn't kill you, it'll only make you stronger."  A friend of mine (more like a big brother) named Chris would always say that jokingly.  But lately, after 7 years, the saying is finally showing it's true colors.

I'm not one to share my relationship struggles, but yesterday, after Bryan confronted me (I'm so proud of him), I realized that some of the things he was saying were, well, rather harsh.  But, taking it into his perspective, I was able to see what he meant by reflecting on all the long-term relationships I've ever been in.  I feel, in retrospect, I've become a bit stronger or a better person because of this.

By this, I mean I have the tendency to give a relationship my all before we're together, at the beginning of the relationship, and then (for a lack of better words) it just goes steady.  *sings* Steady as she goes (steady as she gooooooes~).  Maybe it's my brain telling me "you've already got him, now you don't have to try as hard" or "if he's not satisfied with you the way you are now, then it's not meant to be."  Whatever it is, I have been told.  I've been told that to keep someone I love, I need to keep working at it.  I need to make them feel like they're wanted.  I need to put forth my best effort (and it may be more obvious if it's inconvenient and expensive, but if that's what it takes, then so be it) in order to keep what's valuable to me.



I feel like I'm getting a bit old to be creative with a relationship.  You know what I mean... when newlyweds or new couples do sweet nothings.  However, I AM an OT and creativity is in my work.  I guess I'm gonna have to start combining a bit of work into my personal life.

Relationships are a bit harder to maintain than I thought.  Who knew I wasn't an expert after 1-4+ yrs of experience?