A Good Friend....

After today's graduation ceremony, I realized a few things.  There are qualities of people I extremely admire.  There are qualities of people that make me trust them.  There are qualities of people that make me feel like my existence in their life means something.

Those are just some of the qualities of someone I believe to be a good friend.  Good friends are those who you know will be there for you for every important aspect of your life, no matter what.  Yeah, everyone says "I want someone who's always there for me," but the truth is, what makes these good friends so much more significant than the rest?

First, I believe it's the trust.  The ability to become dependent on them and not feel like anyone owes anything.  An unconditional relationship between two people who have a at least a moderate (if not close) understanding of each other.  This is a barrier I rarely let people through.  So many times have I been disappointed, felt abandoned, or even mistreated by so-called "friends."  That's why barrier #1 is the hardest to get through.

The second aspect (I sort of feel like this is a quest, or the next level up in a video game) is the ability to recognize what is important in life.  This is actually a general understanding and doesn't have to be individualistic (or as we OT's would say, client-centered).  When a friend reaches an important milestone in their life, you DAMN WELL BETTER BE THERE.  Whether it's a wedding, having a baby, graduating, moving.... anything significant in a person's life, that's a flag.  Those people who make the effort AND make it to the event are those you can count on.  Sure, there's the "I had _____ at that time" or "I don't have the time/money/(insert excuse here)" or "I didn't know______." 

But honestly, and this is coming from personal experience, you can make it if you try.  You can get work off early, you can reschedule your meeting/schedule a babysitter/study ahead of time (this is a challenge for most because they wait until the last minute), you can call someone up and ask them what's happening in their life so you know when to be there for them.  Things I find acceptable (only a few come to mind at the moment):  1) distance + time + money inhibit you from being there; 2) you are experiencing some kind of event for yourself (good or bad, hopefully not the latter); or 3) that person really doesn't want you there.  T_T

Lastly, and the hardest one to maintain, is to care.  Not just care from the side, but show that you care.  No one knows you're a genius until you demonstrate it.  No one knows you're talented until you share it.  Really, it's the maintenance piece that people lose track.  Life-long friendship is really hard to come by, and I think the best friendships are the ones you can share with over time.

So, for those of you who feel like you fit in a category somewhere, I promise you I'm not targeting anyone in particular.  My intent was to make you & your friends' lives better.  A good quality of life with a satisfying social piece is what everyone strives for.  Why?  It's a simple, most satisfying taste of life some people never experience.